A Word in Season

 

Like apples  of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances 

Prov 25:11

This post has taken me a week of reflection and investigation, rather deeper than I intended information wise, and I will be glad to have shared it, but it has taken rather a lot more time than I hoped. Not for the first time I wonder if fatigue will make me more patient. Then I laugh....

It's been a rough few weeks health wise. In fact I am typing lying down as I lack the strength to sit at the computer- to even get off the couch right at this moment. It is frustratingly unproductive. The thing is, I don't look sick. I might look tired sometimes. But it is easy to forget- I even forget, that I am sick. And I expect to be able to act 'like normal' (though I'm not exactly sure what that is- can any of us define normal?), or perhaps I expect to be able to get what I plan to get done, done. And other people don't realise I am ill either- which is understandable, and I feel like I am letting down their (probably imagined!) expectations of what I am able to actually achieve. Which all sounds a little crazy and goes back to me feeling like I am (and 'surely everyone must think so') lazy. 

Celebrating Little Things

So for exactly one year today I have been brushing up my Portuguese daily on Duolingo. I generally average 60XP a day, which is probably a bit more than I really have time to do well; I kind of rush through it- BUT, it is still 365 days (ok, bar one- I skipped it on my birthday- I had enough credits to buy a 'freeze' for a day,) straight, which is, for me, impressive in it's consistency. Especially considering the big events and my overall health this past year! And even if it's just me impressed, that is fine! I am stoked.

 So apparently I am now 7% fluent. Which sounds a little depressing really, because I speak it almost as well as when I lived in Brazil (which was over twenty years ago now, yikes!). But then, it does cover a LOT of subjects I wouldn't have normally conversed about as a teenager, such as scientific topics and politics; generally we were more interested in music, dancing, parties, beaches- Carnival....  Needless to say I had few responsibilities at that time! I will probably say this more than once here: Brazil. Is. Awesome. I have a deep love for all (almost) all things Brazilian, and my ears prick up when I hear Portuguese being spoken... I have been known to stop walking, lean against a wall (or post, what ever is closest and gives me a little cover!), close my eyes and eavesdrop on conversations, trying to pick the regional accent, enjoying the timbre.... I don't mean to be rude- I don't intend to hear private details, but the beauty of hearing it and the thrill of understanding some is just too, too tempting. Especially as it is not often heard where I have lived since I lived there. I know it would probably be more polite etc to pause and say 'Hello' etc, but as strange as it sounds, I don't want to interrupt anyone- is it worse to make it known you've overheard their conversation or just to listen covertly?? I really don't like disrupting people...

So. My question now, is, do I continue? Do I press in and try and make another 365 day run? What if I fail?? And maybe I should try a bit harder and do ANOTHER language- but which one?? And what if I fail at THAT? Goodness! So much opportunity to not 'do-things-right'! Perhaps I could tone down the Portuguese, I mean, do slightly less, and pick up one, maybe Italian? at a similarly slower rate? I am a little shy of doing another Romantic language, as I have tried Spanish before (I thought it would be easier as I can pick up a general gist of what is being said by ear) but then everything I said I found I was adding either Portuguese words, conjugating as if they were Portuguese or pronouncing with a (North-East) Brazilian accent! And my crazy paradigm is that, really, to keep it 'seamless' (?!), I *should* start TODAY, or at latest, tomorrow- which leaves me little time to decide. Believe me, I have been ruminating for a few weeks on this now, deciding by tomorrow is making me feel a little panicky- which is crazy, right? What is going to happen if I don't start tomorrow? The Butterfly Effect- global catastrophe?! Goodness. I have an excuse for my extra paranoia today, not that it matters what that is, but it doesn't make anything any easier to deal with unfortunately.

And so, I will adopt my usual approach to dealing with stressful (I know, stress is relative and my glass is overflowing right now) situations or choices- distraction!

Where Did That Day Go?

I just completed the first test for the writing course I have signed up for - only 17 more modules to go!

Talk about daunting- well, for me. I haven't really been brave enough to try writing very much. (That, and along with the creative pursuits I want to do- it seems a little selfish given the amount of time and energy vs responsibilities I have...) I don't remember school being very helpful with teaching writing, or encouraging it- though I have always enjoyed it. What I mean is, and this is where this course is really helpful, there was never any indication of strength of interest (let alone talent!); if you showed an aptitude there was no direction or guidance given. (Perhaps I didn't show any, maybe that was the problem!) I recall a few kids being passionate about journalism, but I have always had trust issues with journalism, and it didn't grab me.

The 'English' electives (which were compulsory...) had a 'tick-the-box-you've-completed-this-lesson-move-on' kind of feel about it. One was required to do a few haiku, some soliloquies, a couple of book reports. I don't even remember learning how to write an essay well. Fortunately I picked up persuasive writing at college quickly enough to do well enough- suffice to say, what did I learn in those long hours at school?

 I'll be honest and say a great deal of what I learnt was how to get out of boring work with by doing the minimum requirement for a good grade, and then by some fluke (?) pass well enough in areas that did interest me to get a good overall grade; yet I couldn't specifically say what. Perhaps that has more to do with my memory than the caliber or passion of my English teachers. Only one I can actually picture, none of which I can name. In short, I can't say I was inspired anywhere!

 In fact, I DO recall clearly spending time with a friend - I can't recall which of us came up with this brilliant idea- in the sick bay on absolutely false pretenses (our nurse was a bit of a soft touch, and my friend was an exceptional actress. I think my effort was pretty much just to try not to giggle....). We spent at least one period- perhaps more if I recall correctly, and I am recalling three other times we bunked off right now; ah, happy days.., two when we were very nearly busted it was thrilling! Sorry, wandered off a bit there. So, we were in the sick bay and we spent a good few hours writing stories, reading them to each other, embellishing plot twists. A few illustrations. We did enjoy putting thoughts down and developing plots and characters in our own time, writing in each other's journals to pass the monotony, copying the odd bit of poetry or 'extremely moving and profound' (probably not so much, actually, in retrospect) song lyric that spoke exactly how our wise teenage selves felt. Thank goodness that over emotional/not so great judgement time of life is well in the past... Good thing blogger didn't exist back then otherwise I would have spilled verbiage all over the Internet (which also didn't exist then - shhhh!) and probably looked back unimpressed with how impressed with myself I had been. I am sure you're not like that....


So this writing module. It covered brilliantly helpful information such as:

• Practical elements in a story (such as planning, choosing a setting and viewpoint etc)
• Artistic attributes (including how to develop main characters, add contrast and develop conflict)
• How to pitch your story and write a synopsis, then develop a chapter map

and many other very helpful bits of advice. And that was just the first module! So I am quite excited. And daunted. Did I mention that? It is clearly designed for people with a little more confidence in their ability than moi, but I will persevere, because who knows?

Finally, I was excited (it doesn't take much) to discover that the YouVersion Bible app I use has a function where you can highlight a verse that may have struck you in your readings (as this one did this morning) and add a background to it. I know you can do (and I do) this in apps such as Phonto, but this was convenient as it was all in the program and I could go straight back to where I was reading. A kind of cheats version of Bible Journalling! And I do love this photo, makes me homesick :)

I have also been working on creative prompts and classes, and have a few in various stages of completion; none yet ready for posting- but I MUST do some organising today or I will not cope for the rest of the week. I need some sort of order out of the chaos that is slowly building around this place for my sanity's sake. Interestingly, creativity is wonderful for peace of mind, but the tasks that go undone while I take that time rob that same peace! It is a fine balance and something I have struggled to balance for many years. That being said, I started carving some stamps last night and only gave up because the light was so bad- better watch out, it could become an addictive habit!